Wishlist

I figured making a wish list would make me a step nearer to get them for real, not because it's Christmas or anything. Turns out, my wish list this time isn't long like always. Just several items that are somewhat impossible to get because most them are not available in Malaysia. So here goes..

On top of my list is of course, my dream phone, SideKick LX which cannot be found anywhere in Malaysia, or if you do know where to get this in Malaysia, do email me the details!

Getting a Sidekick might seem impossible, and if I won't ever get my hands on a Sidekick, I would go for a phone that can be found in Malaysia, hence my second choice for a phone since my current LG is giving me so much trouble. I swear I've thought about throwing it from the third floor! A white Blackberry Curve 8520 will suit me just fine :)
The second that's on my list is a boyfriend blazer. A tailored one is always preferred but if that costs too much, I wouldn't mind buying it straight from a store. A navy blue one with folded sleeves is always nice, or gray works for me too :)




The third on my list is something I wanted for 4 months but whenever I saved up money for it, I always ended up buying something else. Now that my Morgan Eau de toilette is finished, I need a new perfume to replace it. I surveyed and it's confirmed. I love Juicy Couture's Viva La Juicy's smell!
Or if anyone is nice enough or you love me too much, I won't mind getting it with the whole set of lotions and stuffs :p

Next is a pair of black t-bar flats. I always wanted a pair of black flats but the ones from Rubi don't last very long. No wonder it's super cheap. And now that I know the existence of t-bar flats, I prefer these rather than just simple plain flats.

Next up on my list is a pair of black shoes too. Yes, it's THE Acne Atacoma lace up ankle boots! It's just too gorgeous, don't you think?



I think you'll get bored by the time I tell you what's next on my list because it's another pair of shoes. A pair of black suede Christian Louboutin's. It's a must for every girl to have one pair of plain black pumps in their wardrobe, right?

Okay, I promise not to bore you with anymore shoes. We are at the bottom of my list anyway. The last item on my list are basically just hair products, SO SEXY from Victoria Secret. I want their shampoo, conditioner, hair serum, detangler and straightening balm.




So there goes my wish list (for now). Just 7 items which mostly consists of shoes. To sum it all up :

1. New phone
2. Boyfriend Blazer
3. Viva La Juicy Perfume
4. Black T-bar flats
5. Acne Atacoma lace up ankle boots
6. Black Suede Louboutins
7. Victoria Secret's hair products

Oh, how I wish money grows on trees!

Prayers

I'm not a saint myself, nor am I extremely religious. I don't wear hijab around my head but I come from a family that take our prayers seriously. I still remember when my brother and I were little (way back when both my little sister and brother weren't born yet), my parents were so strict about praying 5 times a day, it's compulsory for us to go for Quran lessons at night and we started fasting at the age of 5. Even now, my parents are still strict about these things but mostly to my little sister and brother because my brother and I know better than to skip our daily prayers. We've become somewhat independent Muslims, thanks to the early lessons from our parents. I used to be a naughty girl where I always purposely stayed in the shower longer than I supposed to just so my brother will go to our night Quran lessons without me. I was lazy to go because we had to cycle ourselves in the dark alleys at the back of our house to the Ustazah's house and I hate this part so much because I had to cycle in my Baju Kurung and a long hijab around my head. There was this one time, my hijab was stuck at the bicycle's pedal. My brother took a few minutes to get it out and he had to tore it up to get it unstuck. The fact that Ustazah's house was so stuffy and hot made me even lazier. When my brother went to high school and stopped Quran lessons, Mom switched me to another Ustazah and this time I didn't dread. Because the Ustazah is fun and I didn't mind staying late just to complete my lessons every night. I learned how to pray from this Ustazah better than the one before and I learned pretty much everything I know now from this Ustazah.

Now, even if I don't go to Quran lessons anymore, I still remember how to read Jawi and I can write Jawi fine. I pray and I came to realise that pray is the only way to soothe you and if you really want to change to a better person, you should start by not missing your 5 daily prayers. I used to be so rebellious as a teenager and now I realised that the reason I became that person was because I always miss my daily prayers. I tend to do things that hurt my parents' feelings and things I know I'll regret later on in life. Thank God I have my family around me and Zahir to make me snap back to someone sane. I promised myself to change and not repeat whatever mistakes I did in the past and I'm glad I started with praying 5 times a day. I find it so life changing. And now whenever I make mistakes or feel so grumpy, it must be because I miss my prayers. When I pray, I feel so calm.

So you see, teenagers these days always roam outside and inside of clubs or have bottles of alcohol in their hands. I don't want to judge people but I'm just glad my parents and Allah love me and they always guide me to grow up as a good person. They taught me what's good and bad. Allah gave me a supportive and loving family, a guy that cares for me, a best friend that has been with me since we were 9 and enough necessities for me to live. Alhamdulillah, thanks to Allah, I'm living a comfortable life without me heading to a wrong direction in life. I may not wear a hijab, but I will come to my senses one day and I will cover my hair when my heart opens up to it and to me our daily prayers are the most crucial if you don't want to head to a wrong path in your life :)

Of black sandals and cars

See the sandals Kim is wearing? I've been searching high and low for that pair of sandals without burning my wallet too much. It's actually Givenchy and obviously, Givenchy is not the greatest store to look for just a pair of sandals. Unless Donald Trump is my dad, then that's a different story altogether. I always go for the much cheaper one, the normal brands like Topshop, Zara or MNG. I know sometimes the stuffs in those stores can be over-priced too, that's why I always search for the stuffs that are worth buying, or better yet, always shop during sales. I've stumbled upon a pair of gorgeous brown leather sandals in Topshop and I tried them on like 5 times in Sunway and another 5 times in Pavillion but I didn't buy it. All because Mommy didn't like it. She said it's ugly, so being a good daughter like I always am, I accepted her cruel criticism and continue searching for the perfect pair. I paid Charles&Keith several visits but still, no sandals that came as similar as the Givenchy's.



Then there's this one night, I was updating my Twitter, when my high school friend, Denise updated her Twitter with a photo link attached. I viewed it and it was a photo of her and her boyfriend and the sandals she was wearing caught my eyes straight away! I hesitated to ask but I figured, it's not wrong to ask, right? She was being all nice to me and told me she bought it at Vincci. I also asked her if she mind if I buy the same pair and I literally jumped up and down when she said she didn't. Because some people just don't like others to buy the same stuffs that they bought, like me :p I'm actually okay if that person is the one I'm friends with or some one I know. But it'll become something big and wrong when that person is someone I'm not in a good terms with. It will just make me angry or something. I mean, that's normal, right? Yeah... okay, so after she told me she bought it at Vincci and she said she won't mind if I buy them, I went to Sunway Pyramid's Vincci to check them out.

The ones from Vincci might not be exactly the same as the Givenchy's but it's nice and it's kind of similar (to my eyes at least). I went to see the sandals in Vincci, it looked nicer in real life and they're having Year End Sale right now, which is absolutely a plus because they have 20% on that pair. I quickly tried it on, in black and tan brown. The tan brown didn't look so good against my skin, so I went for the black instead. Asked for my size and of course, like always, they don't have it in my size anymore. Why are most Malaysian women/girls wears size 6 shoes? I asked the promoter to call other outlets in KL to reserve. After calling Midvalley, OU, The Curve and Ikano and they still didn't have them in my size, I'm about to give up and just buy the size 5 and I'll try to manage. Good thing I have my personal shopping assistant that day which is Zahir :) He insisted the promoter to keep calling the other outlets in KL, so I won't buy something which is a size smaller than my actual size. Thank God the promoter said they have it in Pavillion. If it weren't for the public, I'd jump in joy and might even hug the promoter! I told her to reserve it for me and that's the reason why I woke up so early today. Zahir accompanied me to Pavillion to pick that sandal up in the morning as to avoid the traffic. I went back with a big grin on my face. I'm a happy girl! :)

I know it's not the same as Kim's, so you don't have to rub it in my face. But it's so pretty and kind of similar to the one I've been searching for. I'm saving this pair for Bandung this Monday! :)

I'm not afraid of dentists

Starting from today. Yes, I've always been scared of dentists as a child because the thought of having your teeth being pulled out by them just hurts. At lunch today, after dropping Nina off at her piano class, Mom accompanied me to the dentist for my scaling. I was shaking when I entered the room. Turned out, it was not scary at all. I didn't die, I managed to go through it and I'm a proud girl :p Even the dentist was friendly. Now I can feel that my teeth are squeaky clean.

Don't be surprise if you see me on tv doing a Colgate's commercial!

Sing our lungs out!

Though Sunway Pyramid is literally like the second home to me, and probably to Dodo too, we decided to spend our whole day there today. Dodo and I were famished and decided to have our late lunch at Ayam Penyet. I used to hate Ayam Penyet but now it's the place I'd go if I ever crave for rice. Maybe because I used to be a pescetarian and there's nothing I can eat there. But now that I no longer ditch meats, I eat Ayam Penyet as much as I eat McDonald's fries. So anyway, we ate and Syida just drank as she claimed she just had lunch at home. We spent hours in the restaurant, talking like old times. Gossips just don't run from girls' mouths I guess. We went for karaoke instead of the movies and it was totally the right choice.

This was my first time to go to Amp Square and it was kind of nice. The interiors and buffet were similar to Red Box. But of course, the rate was a little bit cheaper than Red Box. However the sound system was not as good as Red Box's but it's acceptable, what with only RM10++ for anyone who has a student ID including 2 drinks. Two drinks that you can choose, with a wide range of soft drinks, fruit juices or various flavors of teas. They even gave us from 4pm to 7pm. It was so worth it but I was panting when our time was up. Must be all the high pitch singing and dancing on the sofa. We went for dessert after sweating ourselves in the karaoke room. I wanted Tutti Frutti but they're not a fan, so we went for Baskin Robbins! It was kind of upsetting when they didn't have my favorite, Choc Chip Cookie Dough but I settled with my second favorite, Quarterback Crunch.

See, we were just too happy!

You are unified

I know it wasn't like me to update posts with a lot of photos. But now that my Internet connection is no longer a pain in the ass(not at night too), I can post whatever I want. Obviously, my connection didn't just miraculously turn to a high speed wireless connection. It connects better now because of this thing called Unifi by TM.

I love whoever invented this brilliant thing. Not only my Internet connection is so speedy now, they also give you a cordless phone where you can call any house in Malaysia without being charged(except the monthly payment) and the best of all, I can watch a gazillion more channels on tv. Not that I'm a fan of tv, but still, I can watch Fashion TV where there will be fashion shows and runways. Despite the channels, you can also watch any movie or tv series doesn't matter English, Malay, Bollywood or Korean. All you have to do is just purchase the movie/tv series via your tv. A movie will costs you maximum of RM9 for 24 hours but tv series will costs you a little bit more since you must purchase one season by one season which will last for 30days until it expires. See, it's so much in one package. Like when you sign up for something and you get all the privileges.

Have I mentioned, I love the founder of Unifi?

Events

There are certain events that I didn't update on due to the lack of me logging in my blog. So I'm going to make up for it right now since I have nothing better to do.

Okay, first was the Max Pellicano as Elvis Presley charity dinner that happened in Sunway Hotel Resort and Spa. I wore the black lace dress my parents bought for me in Singapore. Despite the fact that they gave it almost a year ago, I've never worn it anywhere. Every time I had an occasion and planning to wear it, I always ended up buying another dress. So this time, I held myself back from buying other dresses though I was this close to buying one while I was accompanying my little sister to choose a dress for her. I did get myself a fake snake skin clutch from Mango Outlet though :) That night went great though I'm pretty sure my little sister, Nina, had the best time of her life as Elvis/Max came down to our table and went straight to Nina and held her hand while singing directly to her. He even kissed her cheeks and slipped a yellow satin scarf signed by Elvis/Max himself around Nina's neck. He might be old enough to be my dad, but he's just too dreamy. Since Dad bought one whole table, we decided to invite Zahir, Mom's aunt, her husband, her daughter and her son-in-law to complete the table.

Second was last Sunday. Remember I said that Zahir's Dad treated my little brother, Ipan and I to Sunway Lagoon? I was kind of excited because I've never went on any rides with the boyfriend. Yes, believe me, we've never been on any rides together. So, it was kind of an awesome experience to me. And probably to him too.


The rides were fun but the boys went to the wet park without me. Sadly I was having the time of the month, so I didn't get to throw myself in the water despite how bad I wanted to. Instead of braving myself to wear a tampon, I sat with Zahir's Mom and we talked. A really deep conversation that I've never had with anyone before. I was kind of nervous at first when his Mom started asking me questions but I got use to it somehow.

And guess what? We all chickened out when we saw the Pirate Ship swung 360 degrees. Okay, mostly I chickened out but they did too. So we just sat in the middle of the way and stared at those brave people who got onto the ride. We went to dinner at Chicken Rice Shop after that and Tutti Frutti for dessert!


Last Thursday Zahir, Ipan, Nina and I went out for karaoke at Red Box in Sunway. I was craving for karaoke, I don't know why. Went for Tutti Frutti after that and sadly my favorite Blueberry was replaced by Peach. That certainly didn't stop me from buying though as they still have Strawberry Banana which I usually combine with Blueberry. We went back after that because I felt bad for leaving Mom alone at home for long.

One night trip to Kuantan

Last Tuesday, my family and I went all the way to Kuantan for my little brother's interview with MRSM boarding school. Dad insisted on going with Mom and little brother, without Nina and I tagging along but we figured it would be boring to stay home without doing anything. So being stubborn as we are, we tagged along. Little did we know the whole trip would be so tiring. All we did was spent time in the car, tossed and turned, trying to find a good position to sleep without taking each other's spaces and we didn't know sitting in the car for hours can absorb so much energy.

I couldn't even find one decent photo of me in Kuantan in the camera because in all the photos, I looked either sleepy or exhausted. In which case, this photo falls under the latter. We had dinner at some seafood restaurant which tasted just okay. And we went to the beach to take photos but like I said, all the photos ended up the same. It rained after taking a few hideous photos, so we had to run to the car with muds all over my sandals. Not good.

We had breakfast at the hotel we stayed in the next morning. I had pancakes which tasted so good! Then off to another hour of uncomfortable-ness in the car as the boarding school is located somewhere in Pekan. We had to wait for my little brother in the hall and finally, achieved some pretty nice pictures. But of course, nice photos don't include my face in it.


I asked/forced Nina to take photos of my 'kind of' essentials : My watch, my fox ring and my brown Alexa. These become my favorites ever since I bought them :) Okay, I plead guilty for not listening to the talk that was happening at that time and took photos instead. The talk was boring and not like it had anything to do with me. So cut me some slacks :p

After the talk, we went straight back to Subang, had a quick early dinner at McDonald's and went back home. Everyone was so tired and we all went to bed as early as 8pm. That's how tired we were from spending hours in the car!

From Beijing, with ♥

Beijing was tiring but the shopping experience was super awesome. I can't even begin to describe how it felt to bargain like a mad woman until they call you crazy for bargaining at low prices but they will eventually give up and let you have your price even if the original price was 1000 plus Yuan but you bargain for 80 Yuan. Yes, it might sound ridiculous but that's how Beijing handle their businesses. From 1000 to 80, I must admit, it wasn't easy. They will persuade you to increase the price a little but my mom taught me how to be tough during bargaining, so in the end of the trip, I own a mustard colored Marc Jacobs, 2 Mulberry(s), one suede Juicy's tracksuit, a pair of Juicy's flops and a pair of red Ugg's boots. I bought all of that and the 500 Yuan Daddy gave me before the trip still hadn't finished. Believe it or not, I still have extra 150 Yuan. Which means I splurged on all those goodies for just RM175. I certainly can't get all those here in Malaysia for that price, be it original or not. The quality are also as awesome as the price, I think Marc Jacobs himself would cry looking at how neat the workmanships are despite the freaking low prices. The stuffs in China look exactly like the ones they sell in their boutiques. They even give you the authenticity card and the way they wrap the bags and I went all crazy when I see they placed the flip flops in a Juicy Couture's shoe box, just like the ones they give in the real store. I know the feeling won't be the same as the feeling when you get to buy the real thing but to me, it's kind of satisfying enough for now. I can always buy the original when I actually have the money or when I make my own money in the future. For now, this is more than enough as I'm nowhere near a spoil brat that wants everything to be straight from the real boutiques. All I have to say is Beijing is a shopping heaven!

I got my sight to set on you

On Friday my family and I went to Pavillion. Dad had an appointment with the camera guy. After paying for Nina's Nikon, we went round the mall. The mall was kind of packed with tall and skinny girls as there was a runway happening. Looking at those girls' legs makes me wonder why my life sucks. Har. Of course, I went to Juicy but this time I just looked around as Daddy wasn't in his generous mood to splurge his money on me that day but I'm all good with it. Though I was kind of down but I managed to fade the insecurities away.

I studied a little on Saturday. And when I say a little, trust me. It was A LITTLE. I studied the formulas for Property but I didn't seem to get it. After all, I never get Property. Except the one time when Reena taught me. That night, Fara invited Zahir and I to her house as her Mom was cooking dinner. So we went to have dinner at her new place in Shah Alam and I had the best dessert ever. The Durian cake was so sinful, no kid. We stayed there till midnight then everyone was getting a little sleepy, so we decided to head back.

Anyways, I haven't been studying but all I do is watch OC. And when I'm not sitting in front of my computer watching OC, I will be out with my boyfriend. Tell me when will I get my head straight and read everything I need? Sigh. On a brighter note, I just bought Lauren Conrad's fashion help book, Style just now! Okay, actually, Zahir pitched in some money. I couldn't be happier! I thought MPH doesn't sell it but I walked out of MPH with a wide smile on my face. I thanked Zahir like a gazilion times :) Now I'll just have to wait for my brother to order Influence and Elixir from the States for me. Yeay!

In case you haven't been keeping track, I'm left with 4 days till I fly to Beijing. I can't stop thinking of how fun it will be there. I hope Beijing won't disappoint me. Despite everything, I know I will miss my boyfriend when I'm like, a gazillion miles away from him. It's been a while since I left him for a trip. That was last year and as far as I'm concern, I came back with a bad news that time. I just don't want bad things to happen again this year. Let's just hope he won't do anything stupid this time. After all, I trust him. I guess I have nothing to worry about. Right?

Everytime we touch

Now that I have submitted all my assignments and my 3 weeks holidays have arrive, I shall focus more on my books as my finals are coming up right after the holidays. Let's see if I can keep up with the books through out the holidays. LET'S SEE.

I have news! For first, I'll be going to Beijing! My family and I are going on November 12th and will be there till the 17th. I can't wait to stroll on Beijing's roads and buy everything on my sight. China might not be my favorite country in the world, but I heard they sell very cheap but pretty stuffs. Daddy has been on our noses since last week to bring out our winter coats and boots to prepare as the temperature there has been in the negatives. The second is Mommy and Daddy have been giving me the green light to go for a holiday with my friends to Bangkok. Wow, seeing how my parents never let me go on trips with my friends even to the nearest beach or whatever, it's unbelievable that they gave me the thumbs up to fly to Bangkok without their supervisions. They said that after going there last weekend, they realised that it's safe there in Bangkok. However, I'm not sure whether to take up on their generous offer. Another shocking news, they also gave me the nod when I asked them if I could fly to Kelantan for a holiday with the girls. I know, what has gotten into them right? Lol. They said it's good that I make friends with people from outside KL as the reason we planned for Kelantan is that Miejah's hometown is in Kelantan and she invited us all to visit after our finals in December. As of now, Daddy is finding the reasonable prices for the tickets. I hope this plan won't go down the drain as I have imagine how fun it will be if we really go on with this plan.

If you haven't heard, I've been sick for almost a week. I have a fever and this terrible headache. Not to mention, I have a couple of things grew on the left side of my neck. Before you could go all eww on me, it's nothing serious according to the doctor. I went to two doctors and mind you, the things are normal when a virus attacks your body. So I have been sleeping a lot these days as I can't keep up with this massive headache. The worst part is, I have to swallow 6 pills every 6 to 8 hours. Can it get any worse?

It's our day ! ♥

Today marks the 31st month of our relationship. I think I have told our pasts a lot of times before. How we met, how we fell in love and how we got back together after the long years. So this time, I'm not going to gush about our pasts but I'm going to tell you how I feel about they guy I love instead. It's hard to actually put things in words as I'm not really the kind of person who's good at expressing my feelings but I guess I'll try my best to arrange the words properly for the sake of our 2 years and 7 months anniversary.

Sending texts and making calls on this special day are too common, dull and perhaps, I might say, boring. You, Zahir Fikri, sure knows that I don't like typical stuffs so what I'm doing now is to make this special. I know we haven't got to our 3rd year yet but it's not wrong to make every anniversary special. Though everyday, every hour, every minute, every second and every mili-second that I spent with you feel special, I want to make this day more special, if that's even possible. I'm going to be completely honest with you, so that you'll know how sincere my feelings are to you.

Frankly speaking, I have no faith whatsoever in us the moment you asked me to be yours. No, there wasn't any faith in me either when I accepted you. All I know was that we were young and there's no harm to get involve in this affair of high school loves. I was never serious with my previous relationships except for one. So I have no intention to be serious in ours at first because I know, high school loves don't last long. Not for me. I totally lost interest of being serious in a relationship after that huge heart break I faced in 2006. After a month together, I started to look at you in a different way. It wasn't just because of I changed my mind, but it was also because I noticed you changed too. You changed to this guy that I slowly love sincerely. I have always loved a guy who doesn't socialise too much and has one bestfriend instead of a group of friends. You were the opposite of my definition of dream guy but you slowly turned into that guy. I guess that was when the sparks really grew. I started to care a lot more than before and I started to get jealous over the smallest things. That moment, I knew. I could feel it. My feelings changed into love and it grows more each day. It still is growing now even after years together.

After a while, I have absolutely no doubts about us being soul mates and true loves. We have faced a lot of difficult phases together and it still amazes me of how strong we are to survive until now. We've been through the hardest situations but we still stick to each other and solve it together without being apart. Despite everything, we are here now. Still going strong. How can I not feel we are destined to be together? After all this while, you're still mine and I'm still yours. I know for the fact that we were made specially for each other. I sometimes dream of my perfect wedding and no dreams have ever left you out from the picture. You are like the compulsory element every time I dream of my future wedding. That's why I know we will marry each other one day and we'll have beautiful babies together. I just know it.

After all this time, my palms still get sweaty every time you hold my hand. I still have the butterflies in my stomach when ever I wait for your arrival. I still worry about how I look every time we're going out. I still care whether to put my hair up or down so you'll like it. I still hope for you to say I'm pretty every time we meet. I still want you to laugh at my jokes even if they're stupid. I still miss you even if you just sent me home a while ago. I still wait for your texts every second. I still look at my phone every second, holding it all the time when we argue so I won't miss any calls or texts from you. I still look at your photos and videos every chance I got. You're still on top of my heart even if I threw mean words at you. You're still the one I think of when I read love novels. You're still the one that appears on my mind when I watch Dear John or Notebook. Your name is still the one I scribble down on my notebook when I got bored in class. Your Facebook profile is still the first I see when I log in. Your face is still the one I think of the last before going to bed and the first when I woke up. You're still the one I go to everytime I'm upset with something. There are a lot more I can list down but I don't think this space is enough. The thing is, you have always been the one for me. Always have and always will. So after these 31 months I've gone through with you, you're still the one that I love no matter what happened, no matter how terrible we argue and no matter how awfully pissed off I am at you. It will always be you that's in my heart. I know we can't get a tattoo but you are my tattoo because I know you are permanent in my heart.

HAPPY 2 YEARS AND 7 MONTHS, BABYCAKES.
Always and forever yours ♥

Updates!

Arranged a meet up with Min Yi, the blogshop's owner on Friday after lunch. The shoes are PERFECT. There's nothing I could say any more than perfect. I absolutely love it :)

I know I haven't been loyal to my blog these past couple of months and I plead guilty. I swear, it's not that I'm lazy to update or anything but I am now busy with assignments as the date lines are just around the corner. I know if anyone were to blame, it's me. I admit that I always delay my work when I can actually start doing them earlier. Again, I don't blame it all on my laziness of doing assignments but there were several nights that I felt like blogging but I have absolutely no idea why my Internet sucks at night. Okay, maybe it sucks during the day too but not as much during the night. I have been active in my Facebook and Tumblr BUT, before you can accuse me on neglecting my Blogspot for Tumblr and Facebook, you're wrong. The only reason I'm active in those two is that I always online in my classes using my iPod Touch whenever the class gets a little boring. I tried to update something in Blogspot from my iPod but I couldn't as the words are too long. So, it wasn't really my fault, is it?

This weekend is by far the most productive weekend I've experienced in 2010. Sad but true. I spent the whole day yesterday, yes, from morning till midnight finishing my Accounts assignments and tutorials. I had no problems answering the first two questions but when I came to the next questions, I was like, 'say what?' I have no memories whatsoever of learning that topic. I was about to give up but I kept trying. Mind you, I have completed my Accounts assignment which is such a relief. It wasn't easy to make a 'T' account using your laptop for the first time. I was all happy and cherry when the amounts of my Assets and Equity for the last question balance with each other. Zahir hung out at my place and accompany me while he studied for his finals next week. Actually, he mentioned studying but I didn't see him study at all. He just played PS3 with my little brother and Izer. Anyways, it was so funny when he looked at me whenever I was so stressed out doing the questions. Har. He went back at almost 2 in the morning and I happily tucked myself in bed. Glad that one assignment's done and over with.

I woke up this morning much earlier than I thought. I always wake up later than 9 if I slept past midnight the night before. Not this morning though. I woke up at around 8 when I slept at 3 something. I was amazed myself. Maybe I was so eager to get started with other assignments? Har, as if. I called Zahir to say good morning like usual and showered. The best part was, I started on my assignment before I had breakfast. It was so unbelievable because I NEVER do anything before my breakfast except showering. I started to make researches on Economics and I spent the whole day in front of Microsoft Office today. I finished only the first part of the assignment as it's kind of hard with all the curves and tables and examples to give. I guess that's enough of Economics today. I think my eyes will pop out of its sockets anytime soon after reading lengthy explanations of Marginal Cost and Profit.

We'll never ever be apart

Surprisingly this week's Monday wasn't that bad. I don't know why I was all happy to kick start my day this morning. Zahir sent me to college and fetched me up at 1700. We had dinner at Carl's Jr and I couldn't be more full. Oh btw, so far I'm happy with all my carried marks. SO FAR :)

I went to Topshop's students lock up last Friday with Fara. We had fun but unfortunately I didn't get myself anything other than the goodie bag as we were the first 100 at the door :( We queued up since 1400 and the door opened at 1500 sharp. I tried on several items but none fit me well and when I looked at this black suede flats, I fell in love. I tried it on and obviously, they love me too. I called Daddy to ask if it's okay if I use the credit card. At first, he was all okay with it but then he had to give Mom the phone. Of course, Mommy was all no, you have a gazillion shoes at home and all. I nearly cried, I swear! I was furious at the same time so I ended up not buying anything. Boo :( It was such a waste as all the discounts were crazy! Luckily Fara was with me, so I calmed down a little after a while. I had the greatest time with her. We had dinner at Chilli's, as per usual. Har. Chilli's has been a must with Fara nowadays. Definitely can't resist their Honey Chicken. Nomnomnom.

I have a plan with my siblings tomorrow. An outing as Nina just finished her big exams today. I'm going to tuck myself in bed now as I'm so tired of walking around looking for my iPod Touch's cover. It's so hard to find a nice one, sigh. Nights!

I can almost see it

Last night was the greatest girls night I had so far in 2010. Reena, Miejah, Noor, Wawa and Ziha came to my place for our planned sleepover. I won't type everything in detail on what we did or what we talked about because then this post will sure be a one long ass post. Not like I have an intention or the energy to do that. We cam-whored like a bunch of crazy girls and after so long of not jumping into the pool, I finally did with the girls last night. Oh, know what was the best part? All 5 of us(excluding Wawa) showered together in the tiny bathroom. Told you we're crazy. Har.

We overslept, as predicted, so we decided to go to McDonald's in Taipan for breakfast instead of rushing to class. Mom and Dad knew that'll happen since last night, so they don't mind of me skipping. We ate while watching Love Me If You Dare, a French movie, at McDonald's. I had to send them back before the movie could finish as I was suppose to go to SKSS to join their Eid's event by lunch. It was great having girlfriends around again. Speaking of girlfriends, I miss Fara and Ika :(

Thirty and still standing strong

♥

Farewell

I hadn't cry that hard for so long. I had the feeling I would maybe shed a few tears but a gazillion? Plus I was sobbing like a cow. Just couldn't control it. When my brother hugged me for the last time at the airport, I buried my face on his shoulder and whispered 'I'm sorry for everything' while I sobbed. And sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I wiped away the tears but they wouldn't stop. That was when I realised, wow I had disrespect and been rude to him all this while and I'm only realising this now? That's why people always say 'it takes loosing someone to appreciate someone'. I know I took him for granted and I regret it. I can't do anything to change the past but just now, all I could do was apologise and pray for his journey to be a safe one. It was hard seeing him leave. Almost everyone shed their tears, Mommy the most, obviously. I could see Daddy was about to cry but I guess he held it back. We missed him as soon as he boarded the plane.

After sending my brother, my family and my aunt's(+ Zhr) made plans. Supposedly to Nilai for Nasi Kandar but it was closed when we got there. So Daddy brought us all to Banting for Tom Yam. I didn't eat as I bought McDonald's earlier to eat in the car. Awish was with us and he was being so cute, like usual. I had to restrain myself from pinching his cheeks. After eating, my family and Zhr went to my cousin, Kak Eka's, house in Sepang while Awish's family went back to KL. While we were there at Kak Eka's place, my brother text me saying he just arrived in Taiwan for the transit. We text a few more texts and he had to go as the plane was boarding. Since we bid our farewell at the airport, I've been thinking about him nonstop. How we used to ride bicycles together every evening. How we used to share the laptop to online. How we used to share our toys. How he used to company me everywhere I go. How we were involve in each other's life so much that people envy our bond. I miss all that and I guess I just miss him already.

Spending the whole day with Zhr after a week of distance was amazing. Though we didn't do much, just follow around the family, I had fun. I don't know about him but I certainly love today. I just love when he's involve in my family gathering or outings. In a way, I feel closer to him. I was thinking too much today and realised that I will be with him for the rest of my life. Guaranteed. Why would I want to be with anyone else when the one in front of me is perfect? Speaking of Zhr, I'm going to tuck myself in bed now. He's going to call for our midnight talk. Sleep tight sweeties!

Eid Mubarak

Tears were running down our cheeks as we apologised and forgave each other on this special day. Eid this year was nothing like last year or all the other years before. I've grown and everyone has too. It never occur to be that I'm able to cry, thinking that there were so much sins and words I've thrown that hurt my family. Never did I thought Nina would cry too, while she stood on her knees in front of me and apologised. She hugged me tightly and kissed me on my right cheek. I thought she was playing around but then I realised she was sobbing. Everyone was confused why she cried while apologising to me when she didn't shed a single tear while apologising to everyone else.

We all went to pray for Eid this morning. It was the first for us to celebrate Eid in Subang Jaya and pray here. The mosque were so full but we managed to push ourselves through the swarm of people. So far, today had been pretty dull other than taking photos with the whole family making ugly faces and eating Mommy's Chicken Rendang. The cousins, aunts and uncles will be arriving soon and I can't wait. It's always nice to have guests coming to your house on Eid. Frankly, this year isn't that much fun but I guess I couldn't judge now since it's only 12 in the afternoon on the first day of Eid.

By the way, wishes had been coming in since last night but my credit had run out. I had never been a fan of sending wishes to people anyway. I only wish people on their birthdays and that depends on whether or not I'm close to them. Which means, I only send not more than 15 wishes a year and that includes birthdays, Eid and everything else that needs wishes. Har. I'm not arrogant nor am I unfriendly. I just don't find keeping in touch or being close to lots of people is necessary. As long as I have the people that I love around me, I'm happy. I love making friends and I can be friendly but not attached, simple as that.

Again, Eid Mubarak to everyone. Enjoy this special day wherever you are :)

Dear Travis,

I have a girlfriend, and I'm in love with this girl so bad. But I always find myself not good enough for her. She didn't mention it of course, but I just know that I'm not good enough. I kept making mistakes, and making the wrong moves. In the end, I hurt her very much. I don't know why, sigh. But I have no intention to do so. I mean, who purposely wants to hurt his own girlfriend, right ? Yeah, I hurt her again today. I was really messed up and cant control myself. I was so angry, so I talked harshly and started accusing her stuff. But I feel very very guilty though. I was smiling and laughing outside with her brothers and sister, but in the inside, only God knows how i feel. Terrible, yes. During buka puasa, I manage to see her, her smile and laughter. Really made me happy and smile. I felt calm that moment. Then I decided to end my meal to pray Maghrib. As soon as Im done praying Maghrib, I just sat there in Farvin's room alone and took the chance to recite for awhile. Asking God to forgive me for being such a terrible boyf, to forgive her, to forgive both of us for our sins and make us a better person, for her not to give up on me, and asked God to give me a chance to make it up to her. Amin. I went out to the living room after done reciting. I wanted to try make her smile at her house, try to talk to her. But I didnt managed to do so. Then she went into the living room, lying down not far from me. In my mind I said this might be the chance for me to talk to her, make it up to her. But my body just wont do as I say and want to, suddenly I was scared. I mean, I've made a lot of wrong moves. I can't afford to make any wrong moves anymore that time. I don't want to hurt her even more, you know. Although I want to talk to her badly. But I was just to scared. So I kept silent and did nothing instead. Im such a coward, I know. I hate myself very much that very moment, cause I wasn't able to do anything. I thought she was sleeping, so I just watched her from my seat. I decided before I went to futsal, I want to kiss her forehead, whisper to her ears saying Im sorry and put a note in her hand. But it didnt go as planned. Hearing we were about to leave for futsal, she quickly stood up and walked to her room and slamed the door with a sad disappointed face. I feel even more guilty, useless the moment she told me that she was crying in the living room while I thought she was sleeping. At futsal, after receiving those text from her I was speechless. I don't even know what to reply, what to say to her. I was afraid too that what I reply might even hurt her more or make her even more pissed off and annoyed at me. So I decided to play. But again, thats a wrong move. My life is just full with wrong moves. Guess Im not a good decision maker. Till now, I havent decide what to do next. To text her or not, to call her or not. I just want to apologize for everything, I wish it was just that easy. You know Travis, I always put my very high expectations on our relationship. I dreamt of being her lover her whole life, marrying her, and have kids with her, sitting at the porch having tea while watching our kids play and grow old together. I always imagine about all that future stuff, cause I always thought me and her, we would have a bright future ahead of us. But knowing me, its hard. She knows that too, cause im a messed up guy that keeps making mistakes. Although making mistakes, arguing and stuff are part of a relationship, Ive hurt her more that a lot. I know. I just hope she can see that behind this jerk, this guy that always make mistakes and wrong moves, this messed up guy, Im Zahir Fikri, just a normal guy that is madly in love with her since we first started dating and will do anything for her just to be with her my whole life. And I hope she wont leave me, cause I wont and I dont know what will I do if I lose her. Death would be the only option I have if she's gone. I just love her too much. Ya Allah, i need your guidance. I dont want her to leave. Please help me, please

Twenty Ninth and still counting

I can never describe how I feel about Zahir. Never. Every time I try to find out what it is, I'll be clueless. Maybe because I've never felt this way before. Or maybe what we have is something special, something very crucial that I don't care what people want to call it as long as it stays forever. Or it might be that my feelings for him is beyond anything that you can imagine. Better yet, it can be all of the above and more. What I know is that these feelings, all the shivers, the excitement, the happiness, the joy I constantly have ever since he came into my life twenty nine months ago is definitely love. A love that somehow can't be expressed in words. Indescribable, you can say. All you need to know is my love story is better than the love stories you watch and read. For sure.

We had been through stages in our relationship, both good and bad. Yes, every relationship has it's own fair share of happy and sad times, I'm aware of that but what Zahir and I had been through was unique in it's own ways. I'm grateful that we went through the hardest and the lowest part anyone can ever imagine but still managed to stick with one another. We also had gone through the bad times continuously, one problem after another, screaming into each other's ears but look at us now. We barely bicker over things like we used to because we've learnt and know each other better throughout the days, months and years. We survived and we managed to save our relationship all together. I admit, every time we misunderstood each other, I felt like I can strangle him but what do I know? I love him more than I thought my heart could. It's undying even if he annoys me.

My ego is as big as my head plus my whole body. Hence, I always want to be the one who wins if we argue. Yet, he never complains. I know the moment he asked me to be his, he accepted me for good or bad. He let me win every time and I love him more for that. Yes, I can be selfish. Yes, I can be a brat. Yes, I can be annoying. Yes, I can be whatever I want to be. He never complains as long as I stick to him and never leave. I realised I've been a pain in the ass to him for this long, so I want to change. I want to be the one who doesn't complain even if he's selfish. Even if he's being a brat. Even if he annoys me. He can be whatever he wants to be as long as he stays by my side and never leaves. I won't complain. Now, this is a big task for me as everyone knows I'm a serious complainer. However, I want to be good enough for him. I want to live up to his expectations. I know nobody's perfect but I want to be. To him, at least. I know it took me so long to change my massive ego but it's better late than never.

I may have gone through disappointments because of him and shed tears because of him but he will still be the best and remain on top of my heart. Always have and always will. That'll never change. Our relationship of 2 years and 5 months may be a short period of time to some of you but it may sound like a decade to some of you too. Whatever it might sound or look like, only Zahir and I know how our relationship is and how we managed to survive until now despite what we have gone through. I knew him before I know love exists and throughout my childhood life, my life revolved around him just like how it is now. He has been in my life since as long as I can remember and yet, I never feel bored. Not even a tad bit of bore. In fact, I love him even more each day and with every tiny littlest thing he says and does, I fell in love over and over again. I've never cared of how he presents himself, it has always been about him and him only. The person that he is was one of the many reasons I fell in love for real for the first time. He made me feel the love and care he has for me.

I might let out foul words and sometimes I tend to be ignorant, but bare this in mind, I've never stop loving him and neither have I regretted choosing to be with him. Words I've thrown when I was angry and pissed weren't as sincere as the words when I said 'I love you' or 'I won't stop loving you'. I've never said 'I love you' without meaning it from my heart. He's the air that I breathe every mili second, he's the water I need to drink every hour, he's the blinks I need every few seconds, he's the light I need to see through the days, he is just simply the guy that I need and love to make me stay alive. Without him today, I won't be as happy as I am now. I'm proud of him for not leaving me under any circumstances that he had to face.

Nothing can show you how much I appreciate your presence in my life but thank you anyway. For every single thing you have done for me. And a big huge massive SORRY for every bits of trouble you faced for me, every bits of burden you have to carry for me and for every tears you shed for me. I truly apologise for my immatureness for all this while.

You light up my life, Zahir Fikri. HAPPY 29th ANNIVERSARY, SWEETIE. I love you till my heart stops beating and our love is for eternity, I promise ♥

XO.

Magical

I officially turned old today. Who would've thought, next year I won't be in my teens anymore. I feel so old. Regardless of me feeling like a grandma, I had the nicest birthday ever. Zhr never failed to make me happy, especially on my birthday. He'd done a wonderful job on planning two of my previous birthday(s) and today wasn't any different. Despite my exhaustion, Zhr made me happy. He burst into my room at midnight with +wondermilk's heaven-tasted cupcakes and brought Fara along. I was sleeping and was really shock to see everyone standing before me singing Happy Birthday. With my sleepy eyes, I blew the candles half awake. The cupcakes were so cute with the pastel colours and everything. I almost teared up realising how sweet my boyfriend can be. The cupcakes tasted as nice as the appearance and I saw presents on the couch! I love presents!

I opened up the one with the yellow wrapping and found a blue,white and red vintage bag. I love it and hugged Fara to thank her for it. There was a red box with a pretty ribbon on top and I knew it was from the love of my life. I opened it slowly and found two dresses. Both are so different from one another yet have the prettiness in their own ways. I love both and couldn't wait to flaunt it them. I didn't have to wait for long as there was a note in the box that said 'wear one tomorrow night'. I was desperate to know what was on his agenda but I couldn't dig the secrets out of him. After hanging out for a little while, Zhr and Fara went back home at around 1.30. I slept with a massive smile on my face that night and it didn't fade the next morning, literally.

Zhr fetched me up this morning to send me to college and I had the hardest time to pay attention to my classes as I couldn't stop thinking where would he take me after. Finally the clock turned 1700 and I was eager to go. I changed and got ready in the car as we didn't have time to go back. My heart pounded like a gajillion times per second the whole way. Turned out he reserved a dinner for two at Renaissance Hotel in the middle of KL. I felt so pretty as I get to be the princess for the day. He constantly kiss me on my forehead every time he had the chance to. And I love him more for that. We got a table by the window, so we could see that the weather was pretty nice too. It was drizzling and it was perfect for a dinner. I know we're forever. I just know it because I can feel it.

Today was such a fairytale for me. The best part was I have my own prince to myself. I love you, Mohd Zahir Fikri B Mohd Azmi. You are the best, the greatest and my everything. You mean a lot to me. A whole lot.

Now let's wait for our anniversary which is a day away. Oh, I just love celebrations :)

Trying hard to get

My legs hurt so bad but I'm the happiest girl alive today :)

Other than I got to spent my entire day with Zahir, I scored a couple of stuffs from the visit to OU this evening too. I finally got myself a pair of sexy wedges. The fact that it's leopard makes it even sexier. Oh, Zara has always been the one with the prettiest clothes and shoes! I definitely will bring some babies home for Raya. Fingers crossed! I can't stop thinking about their blouses and dresses now.

My School Rocks

I'm down with a fever due to my packed weekend. I woke up as early as 4 in the morning both days to go to PICC in Putrajaya, spent the day there till 5 in the evening. Disney Channel's My School Rocks was amazing, I have to admit. I had lots of fun and that was the first time I heard the name Farish too. He was the host for both days and I noticed he has the looks and don't let me start on his eyes. When I got up on stage, he was like a few inches from me, I stared and yes, he was even more stunning close up. He has the most beautiful eyes! I think I'm in love :) I don't care if he's 26 and I'm 19. People always said age doesn't matter, that it's just a number. I agree with that now. I later found out he's an actor. I thought he was just a regular guy, doing a part time job to host an event. Mainly because he acted like he's a normal guy, being friendly to people and everything. I'm still so jealous of Qistina because when we all went up the stage for winning the Best Cheer leading Team, she went to Farish and said, 'can I hug you?' and he hugged her when she said 'I love you!' to him. So cute!

A thousand splendid suns

Orientation was a mess. Well, duh. I know it'll be that bad and that was why I dreaded that particular week. I guess I should start on Saturday, July 3rd. I know that sounds like a decade ago but that was when I started my engine for the future. And of course, because July 3rd was Zahir's birthday. Mommy and I had been planning a couple of months earlier, to throw a surprise party for him but I couldn't write anything about it here since I know he's my number one stalker. He might have sense something even before I type anything. Har. I woke up early that Saturday because I had to go to Nina's school to lend a hand as USJ4 was having some kind of a carnival and her class had a booth to sell candies, marshmallows and everything that's pink. Or purple. Haha. Mommy called me by lunch hour to confirm that everything was ready at home and I could bring Zahir home. I don't know how to describe that day but it was definitely the highlight of my year. As soon as we arrived home, we all sprayed and smothered him with strings and foams near the water fall at my house. Afterwards, the guys lifted Zahir up and literally threw him into the pool. Water splashed everywhere and I know Zahir was worried that he won't have any clothes to wear later on but by the smile on his face, I know he didn't want to care about that. He just wanted to enjoy his birthday and no one's stopping him. Mommy and I were more than happy to see him enjoying his first surprise party. The look on his face when he found out we had party packs to give to everyone, that we had plenty of games to play, that we hid his present in a big box and that we planned all these for him, was just priceless. I wish I could stop the time and capture that moment and that look on his face, just so the happiness I saw in him won't fade. I'm glad he enjoyed his birthday to the fullest :)

The next day was the day I've been dreading. I started packing that morning and this time, I didn't pack too many clothes. Just sport attires that were worth for a week, 2 pillows, toiletries and 2 pair of shoes. Just for the orientation. I was really grumpy when the sun on Sunday decided to show up. Luckily, Zahir tagged along so my mood went better. As soon as I arrived, I searched for Siti and Nikki since we planned to register together and hopefully to get us all in the same room. But of course, it wasn't our lucky day, we were all assigned to different rooms with strangers. Fortunately, our rooms are all on the same floor. The days were a massive burden on my shoulders since we got to turn in late for the night but had to wake up so early the next morning, we had to walk around the campus carrying the backpack they gave us and we had to even bring our umbrellas everywhere we go. Yes, even if all we had to do was sit and listen to a career talk or something. I don't see the need to bring an umbrella to a career talk but who am I kidding? It's orientation for a University, not some posh private college or something. They asked us to do weird stuffs, they asked us to do that and this and they screamed at us every night just so we'll be ready and to toughen us up so we'll survive by our own. I really hated the orientation to the extend that I was thinking of sneaking out of it but by the support of Zahir's and Mommy's texts, I sucked it up and just lived with it. I pushed myself to bare with the filthy bathrooms and all the walks. By the third day, I was actually having fun. I made new friends and some of them are from Iran, Arab Saudi, Singapore, Indonesia, Thailand and China. I was actually looking forward for the events day by day. Let me tell you, the last night of the orientation was definitely the greatest ever. I had so much fun that night. My night turned even better when I saw Zahir waiting for me by his car to bring me home. We stopped at McDonald's in Taipan for supper and as soon as I finished my Chicken McDeluxe, I dozed off.

And so I can now call myself a degree student. I started class this week and well, it's just the first week. I think we all know what happens on the first week. Every class was just a brief about what we will be learning and stuffs. My Accounts' class hasn't start yet though since the lecturer cancelled our class this week. My schedule looks a lot more relaxing than the one I had last year. So, more time to blog then. I hope. I performed for the Archinight again this year. It wasn't as fun as it was last year but it was okay.

When we look into each other's eyes

Friday and Saturday were definitely the highlights of my week. The girls were here on Friday and we rent the dance studio by the pool for a couple of hours. We had so much fun dancing and the girls looked like they ate 134 packets of sugar. They couldn't stop running around, shouting, singing and everything. Though it sounds like annoying but to me, that what makes them adorable. In the midst of dancing, I saw Zahir at the studio's door. I was all happy then and waved for him to come in. He watched us dance until we finished. The girls were so excited to swim that they pulled me by the hands to the pool. They changed into their swimsuits while Zahir and I went up to change too. We had even more fun swimming and Mommy joined us too. When the clock hit 1920, we went up, showered and got ready for dinner. We all went down to the bistro by the pool. We dug in our meals as soon as they arrived. Simply because we were famish. The girls finished their dinner in a blink of an eye, I guess they were so hungry since they dance and swam earlier. After eating, they all went running to the playground, leaving Zahir and I at the table with Mommy and one of the girls' Mom at the table beside us. Zahir and I talked for a while until I decided to join them at the playground along with Nina and Ipan. We went a few rounds on the swing when it was time to say goodbye.

So yesterday was SKSS's Walkathon. I had to wake up early in the morning and got ready for the day. Mommy drove to Zahir's to fetch him since he was joining us. After an exhausting morning, we went to lunch at Murni. Everyone was practically drown in their food. Har, we went back after, bringing Zahir along. All of us fell asleep in the living room until almost 2100. Yes, all of us. Mommy, Daddy, Ipan, Zahir, Izer(my neighbour/a family friend) and I. Nina slept too but she was in her room. At night, I was waken up by Zahir, saying he needed to go back since his Mom asked him to buy dinner. Luckily, Daddy and Mommy wanted to go to Taipan to buy cat's food. After Taipan, we sent Zahir home. Though all we did was attending a walkathon, had lunch and slept the whole day, but I still had fun as Zahir was with me all the time.

Daddy was in Sabah on June 20th which was Father's Day. Hence we didn't have the chance to give him any presents on that day. So last night, my siblings and I made an album for him together. He was sleeping when we tip toed into his room. He was surprised when he saw all all of standing by his bed. Though his eyes barely opened, he still managed a smile that I know was sincere. We all literally smothered him with kisses all on his face before going to bed. I just love my family :)