Eid Mubarak

Tears were running down our cheeks as we apologised and forgave each other on this special day. Eid this year was nothing like last year or all the other years before. I've grown and everyone has too. It never occur to be that I'm able to cry, thinking that there were so much sins and words I've thrown that hurt my family. Never did I thought Nina would cry too, while she stood on her knees in front of me and apologised. She hugged me tightly and kissed me on my right cheek. I thought she was playing around but then I realised she was sobbing. Everyone was confused why she cried while apologising to me when she didn't shed a single tear while apologising to everyone else.

We all went to pray for Eid this morning. It was the first for us to celebrate Eid in Subang Jaya and pray here. The mosque were so full but we managed to push ourselves through the swarm of people. So far, today had been pretty dull other than taking photos with the whole family making ugly faces and eating Mommy's Chicken Rendang. The cousins, aunts and uncles will be arriving soon and I can't wait. It's always nice to have guests coming to your house on Eid. Frankly, this year isn't that much fun but I guess I couldn't judge now since it's only 12 in the afternoon on the first day of Eid.

By the way, wishes had been coming in since last night but my credit had run out. I had never been a fan of sending wishes to people anyway. I only wish people on their birthdays and that depends on whether or not I'm close to them. Which means, I only send not more than 15 wishes a year and that includes birthdays, Eid and everything else that needs wishes. Har. I'm not arrogant nor am I unfriendly. I just don't find keeping in touch or being close to lots of people is necessary. As long as I have the people that I love around me, I'm happy. I love making friends and I can be friendly but not attached, simple as that.

Again, Eid Mubarak to everyone. Enjoy this special day wherever you are :)

Thump, goes my heart

As of today, January 1st 2009, the first day of the year 2009, obviously. As all my friends were out watching the fireworks with their friends and loved ones, I was stucked at home, with a headache, sore throat and a fever. I couldn't even bring myself on my feet. So, I was lying down on the couch as I didn't have any other option, I was alone in my house, Ipan and Nina had gone off to watch the fire works on the rooftop with their friends. Abang went to celebrate with his friends after work. And my parents went to the rooftop too. So i was lying down texting my boyfriend and feeling like, gosh, I have no life. But whatever. Zhr was out with his family and cousins. Fara was at The Curve with her boyfriend. Wow, Im such a loner. As the clock strikes 12am, I heard sounds, the fireworks and people screaming from god knows where. I cried for a bit realizing how 2008 has yet came to an end and as everyone was celebrating, Im all alone. Im sure gonna miss 2008 as that was the year I've had memories. Good ones and bad ones. 2008 was the year Zhr asked me to be his. 2008 was the year I was 17 and the last year I was in high school. 2008 was also the year I've earned bad grades in my studies. 2008 was also the year I've been backstabbed by my own bestfriends. 2008 was the year I was ditched by my bestfriend. And so, the list goes on. As the fireworks sounds became louder, I forced myself to look out the balcony next to the couch I was lying on. I could see fireworks everywhere. From Sunway, from Puchong, Bukit Jalil, KL, and everywhere ! I started thinking, not bad. Everyone saw fireworks at a place and I've got to see from several places. Yes, it was perfect, the fireworks and everything. Well, it was perfect minus my boyfriend. I wish he was there with me. As I was gazing into the sky with multi colour fireworks, a little bit of tears came out to the corner of my eyes. I don't know why but I thought it was kind of sad how a year, a complete 365 days passed ever so quickly. My birthday in 2008 was the best birthday in my entire life. I still remember how I was fooled by my boyfriend and friends. And the next thing I knew, they were all at my house with cupcakes in hands. I was surprised and I cried. Tears of joy (': I love them so much. But now, the year 2009, we are all in different directions. Except Zhr, that is. Fara is now always busy with her own life, leaving me clueless behind her. Lola is now in UK. Had some misunderstandings with Edora. Azri is busy with his job. Aizat Afiq is in Tuaran, Sabah due to his National Service he loathe so much. Look how much 2009 envy me. Everything is different. This is just a little. The next thing I know, I will be in college. Sigh, I dont want to grow up. Yes, sure it was nice to graduate from high school. But despite the fact that I dont have to open a History text book anymore, I miss my friends. My classmates, the most as they were the one who always make me laugh every single day. Why oh why, dear God do I have to be older a year every 365 days ? My life has its ups and downs, but the only one who is always there for me through thick and thin is my boyfriend. Yes, we may have argued or pulled a face to each other, but despite what I did to him, the hurtful words I've thrown, he's always there for me no matter what. I'm thankful that someone who is really great is mine. I am pretty much blessed on that. Life could never be perfect, I suppose. I will remember every bit and pieces of memories I've made in 2008. And to 2009, I'm begging you to slow down. Don't go too fast as I want to enjoy my time being 18 despite the fact that 18 is still an age that I call old. I cant change the fact that I'm 18, but I'm asking 2009 to slow its speed and don't go too fast like 2008 did, because I don't want to be older than I am now. Just one thing, when 2009 decides to go fast, I want everything I have in my life now to still be there with me in all the years yet to come. My family, Zahir Fikri, Fara Adibah. I want them all to be in my life every year. Though life can never be perfect, I'm convinced that with them, my life is perfect for me.

So, its 2009 and the future is coming to smack me right in the face. Result is coming out 3months from now and next ? College. Ahhh the word that Im afraid of since as long as I can remember.

Seeing how I could not even sit up straight on my butt without a headache yesterday, I had to lie down and nothing else. I wanted to just close my eyes and sleep but I couldnt either as my head is spinning like crazy and my body hurts. So, I took the time to read. And so my book I bought the other day, Top8, finished. That book is really interesting. Madison MacDonald, the girl in that book, is really obsessed with Friendverse. Friendverse is pretty similar to Myspace and Facebook. And she got hacked twice and the hacker decided to ruin Madison's life. She has 3 best friends but were very close to one of them, Ruth Miller as they were friends since elementary school. Everyone except her 3bestfriends hated her, she and her boyfriend broke up and he was dating someone else and everything sucked for her ever since her profile was hacked. But she met a guy, Nate. I saw his photo in the book and he is cuh-ute ! Lol. To make the long story short, she found out who the hacker was and I couldn't believe myself either. Turned out that her best friend, Ruth was the one who hacked her because Ruth was jealous of how perfect Madison's life was. Sick, I know. She ended up being best friends with just the remaining two girls. And ended up dating that Nate guy ! (: I am now reading the other book I bought, Huge. Im now on my third chapter. I'll tell you how the story is when I finish the book, alright (:

Im going to Parade and going to Bangi to visit mommy's friend who just gave birth. Wait, its Bangsar. Oh maybe Bangi. I dont know. Whichever, I want to get ready. Toodles !
Oh oh, and

Happy New Year !

:)

Hohoho ,

Merry Christmas !

Have fun to all who celebrate Christmas ! :)