Today marks the 31st month of our relationship. I think I have told our pasts a lot of times before. How we met, how we fell in love and how we got back together after the long years. So this time, I'm not going to gush about our pasts but I'm going to tell you how I feel about they guy I love instead. It's hard to actually put things in words as I'm not really the kind of person who's good at expressing my feelings but I guess I'll try my best to arrange the words properly for the sake of our 2 years and 7 months anniversary.
Sending texts and making calls on this special day are too common, dull and perhaps, I might say, boring. You, Zahir Fikri, sure knows that I don't like typical stuffs so what I'm doing now is to make this special. I know we haven't got to our 3rd year yet but it's not wrong to make every anniversary special. Though everyday, every hour, every minute, every second and every mili-second that I spent with you feel special, I want to make this day more special, if that's even possible. I'm going to be completely honest with you, so that you'll know how sincere my feelings are to you.
Frankly speaking, I have no faith whatsoever in us the moment you asked me to be yours. No, there wasn't any faith in me either when I accepted you. All I know was that we were young and there's no harm to get involve in this affair of high school loves. I was never serious with my previous relationships except for one. So I have no intention to be serious in ours at first because I know, high school loves don't last long. Not for me. I totally lost interest of being serious in a relationship after that huge heart break I faced in 2006. After a month together, I started to look at you in a different way. It wasn't just because of I changed my mind, but it was also because I noticed you changed too. You changed to this guy that I slowly love sincerely. I have always loved a guy who doesn't socialise too much and has one bestfriend instead of a group of friends. You were the opposite of my definition of dream guy but you slowly turned into that guy. I guess that was when the sparks really grew. I started to care a lot more than before and I started to get jealous over the smallest things. That moment, I knew. I could feel it. My feelings changed into love and it grows more each day. It still is growing now even after years together.
After a while, I have absolutely no doubts about us being soul mates and true loves. We have faced a lot of difficult phases together and it still amazes me of how strong we are to survive until now. We've been through the hardest situations but we still stick to each other and solve it together without being apart. Despite everything, we are here now. Still going strong. How can I not feel we are destined to be together? After all this while, you're still mine and I'm still yours. I know for the fact that we were made specially for each other. I sometimes dream of my perfect wedding and no dreams have ever left you out from the picture. You are like the compulsory element every time I dream of my future wedding. That's why I know we will marry each other one day and we'll have beautiful babies together. I just know it.
After all this time, my palms still get sweaty every time you hold my hand. I still have the butterflies in my stomach when ever I wait for your arrival. I still worry about how I look every time we're going out. I still care whether to put my hair up or down so you'll like it. I still hope for you to say I'm pretty every time we meet. I still want you to laugh at my jokes even if they're stupid. I still miss you even if you just sent me home a while ago. I still wait for your texts every second. I still look at my phone every second, holding it all the time when we argue so I won't miss any calls or texts from you. I still look at your photos and videos every chance I got. You're still on top of my heart even if I threw mean words at you. You're still the one I think of when I read love novels. You're still the one that appears on my mind when I watch Dear John or Notebook. Your name is still the one I scribble down on my notebook when I got bored in class. Your Facebook profile is still the first I see when I log in. Your face is still the one I think of the last before going to bed and the first when I woke up. You're still the one I go to everytime I'm upset with something. There are a lot more I can list down but I don't think this space is enough. The thing is, you have always been the one for me. Always have and always will. So after these 31 months I've gone through with you, you're still the one that I love no matter what happened, no matter how terrible we argue and no matter how awfully pissed off I am at you. It will always be you that's in my heart. I know we can't get a tattoo but you are my tattoo because I know you are permanent in my heart.
HAPPY 2 YEARS AND 7 MONTHS, BABYCAKES.
Always and forever yours ♥
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